The consequences will vary, depending on what you do when you lose control, where you are when it happens, as well as whether you’re under or over 18 years of age.
At Home
Under 18
Children who lose control at home face consequences that their parents or guardians decide for them. It may be a loss of privilege, like being grounded or losing computer or TV time. It may be imposing extra chores. You might not get a warning of what your parents will do after you lose control, but you’ll find out after you calm down. One thing you do not want to do is to make it worse by losing control again after you find out what your punishment is. Work to learn to control your impulses before you get in more serious trouble. We’ll talk about how to do that later. It will be in your best interests in the long run.
Over 18
Once you have your 18th birthday, everything changes. You are an adult. Your parents no longer have any legal obligation to provide you with housing, food, clothing, transportation, or anything at all if they don’t want to. Many parents do continue to support their adult children until the kids are ready to make it on their own, but it’s not a requirement. If you regularly lose control at home, they may decide that it is too dangerous to have you living with them. They may fear for their own safety, or for their other children, or pets, or they may worry that you will damage their house and property when out of control. Even if they love you, they may ask you to move out, or even call the police if they feel you are too far out of control to be safe. If loud shouting and crashing sounds can be heard outside, the neighbors may call the police. If that happens, the consequences will be out of your parents hands, and your hands, too.
At School
Under 18
All students have to obey school rules, and being out of control is not okay, no matter how old you are. There are consequences if a student who is not yet 18 years old loses control. Whether it happens in class, on the playground, on the bus, in the cafeteria, or anywhere on school property or coming and going between school and home, the student is still held responsible for their actions. Depending on the school discipline policies, and on what the student did when they were out of control, this may mean losing recess or other privileges. It can mean suspension, either in-school suspension such as detention, when you still have to go to school but you can’t be with other students. Or you might be suspended from school and have to stay home until the suspension days are over. If a student loses control on the bus they may be banned from riding the bus for a time, or permanently for repeated offenses. If the problem keeps happening and the school feels that nothing is working, they may expel a student, meaning they cannot go back to that school, perhaps until the end of the term or year, or perhaps forever.
Over 18
For adult students, the consequences of losing control at school are greater. If you’re in high school, the school may bring in the police or call a student’s probation officer if they are on probation. In college or at university, they may simply say that you are not a good fit for their school and you will not be able to continue your education there.The older the student is, the more important it is that they learn to control their behaviors to avoid serious consequences and continue to benefit from their education. Your educational opportunities improve when you learn to be in charge of your own actions and reactions. And you can do it.
At Work
Under 18
If a student who’s 17 or younger has an after school job or work experience program, it’s important for them to be in control of their actions. If they lose their temper and act out, their supervisor is likely to call their school or their parents. They may decide that a student who blows up is not a good fit for their workplace, and that’s the end of their job.
Over 18
If an adult employee loses their temper on the job, they will most likely be reported to their supervisor and/or HR – Human Resources. Chances are they will lose their job, especially if it happens more than once. Businesses can’t afford an employee who might suddenly lose control and threaten customers, clients or co-workers. They might also call the police if the employee continues to be out of control when they try to talk to them about it.
In the Community
Under 18
If a child under 18 has a tantrum in a public place, people might judge their parents. They may not let their children play with the child who acts out because they don’t want their child hurt. If a teen under 18 is out with friends and loses control, their friends may not want to hang out with them anymore. If they’re in a store, restaurant, or movie theater, they could be asked to leave, or even banned permanently from ever going back there again. If the business calls the police, the young person who lost control will probably be treated as a juvenile offender rather than an adult, but there will probably still be some legal consequences.
Over 18
Owners of stores, restaurants, and movie theaters are far less patient and understanding with adults than they are with children. They may ban the person from returning, and they might also call the police. The police will treat the person as an adult offender, without the protections they would provide to a minor.
Consequences are worth avoiding.
These are serious issues. You can see how important it is to learn now, not later, how to understand and control your own actions and reactions.
The good news is that people can learn self-control. This means you can take back your own control, and be the boss of yourself, rather than letting your reactions set you off and get you in trouble.
To learn more, read the full article, or watch the next video.